Empty Room, Full Bar

I admit that Dr. Karel Nešpor from the Anti-Alcohol League probably would not be very happy with my following thoughts. On the other hand, how can a person with a neutral relationship towards alcohol understand the universe that this stuff creates? How can the color-blind appreciate colors? How can a man without any weaknesses understand those who at the exact moment they are born have the code predestining them to a predilection to all the addictions in the world?

Alcohol is the airplane which takes me on vacation whenever I decide to go. I board, start to feel the acceleration....and I am already above the clouds that have shielded my life. I fly higher and higher, my troubles are smaller and smaller, until they are so small that I do not see them any more, or I lose the appetite to devote a second thought to them. I fly in the sphere where there are constant bright skies and sunshine.

Alcohol makes a more generous person of me. Suddenly, I am able really to laugh at the jokes of Zdeněk Izer, despite hearing them for the one hundredth and fiftieth time, and very badly told. My friends finally start to think I have a sense of humor. They are happy that they are funny and I am happy that they are happy. Afterwards, we have a very pleasant evening and everybody is happy.

If I really try, alcohol can take me to the 5th dimension. It usually happens when I am alone, rocking in my rocking chair, combining its monotonous movements with sips in a harmonious rhythm. It also helps to stare intensely at the fireplace or a white wall or another suitable object. I never know whether I am currently in the 5th dimension while being there. I will find proof the next morning, mostly in the form of seemingly insane emails or messages sent without my knowledge from my phone. I know that it is not possible to remember anything from the 5th dimension and that returning visits to the 4-dimensional space are hard and painful in principle. Nevertheless, I

sometimes have the suspicion… judging by the content of the messages... if I was still in the 5th dimension ... or I was already directly in a black hole. Alcohol is my airplane to far away places. Above the clouds. Away.

It is a way to exotic lands, to unusual moods, to worlds where nothing is impossible and all doors are open. Alcohol is the origin of my stories, making me acquaint myself with people at the airport, offering me a different view on life and putting me in the position of an observer from a distance.

Alcohol teaches me to indulge in the present moment. The moment that is not obscured by problems and expected obligations to participate in the human herd mentality.

Through drinking, I appreciate the work of the Creator. Or the work of Nature, if you choose.

P.S. During the writing of this blog, five 11 ˚ “Pobuda”-brand beers were consumed.

P.P.S. EDIT on 3.4.2022

Alcohol is my airplane... but the pilot has right now announced an emergency landing.